Change for the sake of change

I've spent a few days in the warm South, which, I have to say, obliged with some bright blue skies and general loveliness, welcome after what has been a very grey and muddy start to the year. Not that we're missing all that exciting snow, O no. But it's certainly been looking a little dreary up our end of things for quite a while. It was a good brief trip: I did some work, had a nice pizza with friend Carol in the sort of Italian neighbourhood restaurant which is emphatically not an aspect of NE Scotland, but is still to be had in parts of London, admired the camellias, cyclamen and so forth which adorn sunny Ealing, and came back to observe, such is the force of refreshing one's eye, the extreme unpleasantness of the dog's bed. She lives in a cage, by her own preference, she clearly loves it and feels safe there. We introduced a flat plastic mattress, but on top of that there has been a sort of compost of bedding - a nice mohair blanket which was rashly introduced to the washing machine and thus shrunk to half its original size, two charity shop crochet rugs, and an airline pseudo cashmere fleece from one of our long-haul-habitué friends. These have been scratched into nests night after night and have become quite disgusting. With great firmness and decision, we visited the Turra pet shop, and bought a sort of dog duvet, in a fleece cover with poppers. When we got home, the silt of squamous bedding was evicted (Miss Dog looking on the while, with deep misgiving), and borne off by Tony to cosset the compost heap. The Professor inserted the new bed. Miss Dog entered her steel hotel, sniffed dubiously, shot out again, looking martyred, and pointedly stretched herself out on the floor. The Professor retrieved the airline pseudo cashmere fleece, and laid it over the unacceptable new bed. Miss Dog re-entered the steel hotel, with an air of  'I'm not convinced'. Three minutes later, she was asleep. The newness of the bed seems to have been forgotten. Not for  the first time, we have reflected that compared to her obstinate and cunning predecessor, these young dogs you get nowadays ... no stamina. Not a brain in their heads. Miss Best Friend would have taken DAYS to come round, and exacted a toll of treats and considerations.

Country Life

As promised in my last, I had a lovely sticky time making a cover sketch for my Venetian pal. I don’t, for good reason, have much faith in my ability as a painter, because I don’t put in the time and concentration to develop my skills, so if I want to do anything in colour, I turn to collage. The Professor buys Country Life these days – leaving aside the property porn, it has very sensible articles on  issues which really do affect country life, and remains, as it always was, good on architecture (though it has to be said, it is Tottering By Gently which is the ultimate thumb in the scales as far as the P is concerned, especially if it features Slobber the Labrador, Ms Tempest, take note). But even the property porn, though, has its uses as far as I’m concerned. The magazine is printed on good quality paper, and it’s terrific for collage because there isn’t bleed through from the back. For this particular design I wanted a lot of blue, and a dozen or more optimistic skies from Savilles, Jackson Stops etc. were culled and put to service. All good fun. The main subject (a leaping fish) was composed of a cuttlefish, close ups of halved strawberries and strawberry ice cream, and a drawing of a Ferrogamo shoe. One slightly more irritating feature of the last few days is that I have developed an ear infection. Fortunately, I was picking up the Prof from his Chinese doctor the other day, and so the good Dr Wu kindly took a look down the offending orifice with an otoscope, and assured me that there was no problem in the ear canal, but merely in the outer ear. This is jolly good news but for the time being I have a sort of cauliflower ear, though not from the usual causes. And I’m a bit deaf. It will pass, with the aid of ibuprofen and hot cotton wool. On a more cheerful note, I have discovered something nice to do with celeriac! The Two Nice Girls do keep giving us the damn things and in cold weather, there is a limit to how much céleri-remoulade a body can stand. Following a tip-off, I simmered the celeriac with a small potato and part of a vegetarian stock cube. Once everything was cooked through I drained it, mashed it, and added garlic, parsley, celery salt, a knob of butter, and crucially, a slosh of truffle oil. Then I left it on a very low heat to dry out a bit while I did everything else,  since celeriac is sort of watery at best. And after all that,  I can say, absolutely, this is the nicest thing to do with celeriac yet discovered hereabouts.

We become smarter

To be sure, Lord Mungo Strathbungo is busy Adding Tone, albeit from the privacy of a back bedroom for the time being (he needs some kind of support before moving to his final destination). But chatting with the good Tony, who has, entirely off his own bat, chosen to do his house days in a collar and tie and an apron, found hin murmuring about the apron (a butcher's one) which he clearly regarded as faute de mieux, and not quite the thing, not quite suited to the dignity of the house ... I can take a hint as well as the next chap. Ebay, after a bit of messing about, yielded an offer of a stout cotton twill apron in a conservative shade of British Racing Green, with an embroidered name thrown in ... so I organised one such, WITH name, which has delighted him. Dear Tony appears to be channelling his Inner Butler. When he was rhapsodising over this garment, I said hard-heartedly that I thought the butler's apron of tradition was yellow and black stripes (think: Nestor the Butler in the Tintin books, Hergé was a devil for details). Tony gave me a quelling glance, and said, 'I've always thought green very smart'. So clearly I have come up with the right thing. Otherwise, in what you might call the official part of my responsibilities, my examination responsibilities have finally come to an end. My last set of paperwork was shovelled onto the desk of the relevant secretary on my birthday, so there it goes and there's an end of it for this exam diet, Laus Deo. I  now have a bit of time for one of the weirder propositions to come my way - my Venetian friend asked me to illustrate a book on idioms.  I was amazed to find that her publisher quite liked the idea, so I'm going to spend some time tomorrow having a lovely play around with a cover design.

Every Home Should Have an Ugly Nobleman

 

The Professor’s wish list is a fairly strange phenomenon. We had a bit of a morning off on Saturday: the plan had been to celebrate Dr Brennan’s birthday with the Huntly Two and the infant Hercules, but Fate intervened in that something horrible went wrong with Dr B’s car. He phoned from the environs of Dundee, where he had been coming up from Sunderland, with plans to scoop up his older son en route, and it all had to be cancelled – so the other of the Huntly Two and her mother came and spent Friday night with us, and Saturday was unexpectedly free. We went to take a look at the good Scottish craft shop, and there, among all the tweed and glass, was a lifesized plaster bust of an ugly nobleman. Actually, not hideous, certainly not in the Giangastone de’Medici class, but merely a Victorian fellow with a curly moustache, wearing a plaid – Lord McSomebody, doubtless. I’d pretty much forgotten that the Professor once tried to buy such a busto at a sale in Edinburgh, with the assistance of the ex-Tropical Uncle, and was pretty miffed to be balked of his prey. Anyhow, it transpired that he still wanted one, and a bit of further investigation revealed that Lord McSomething was to be had jolly cheap, so we bought him. He needs a certain amount of restoration, but once tidied up, the idea is that he will go at the end of the hall under the octagonal mirror, and Add Tone. Which I’m sure he will. He will not be given an old cricket cap, a form of Artlessness, which is, in our view, long past its sell-by date. Having bundled him into the car, we then went on to visit an antique shop which has produced interesting things in the past. On this occasion, the most interesting thing turned out to be the proprietor. In the course of general chatting, it turned out that he and the Professor shared a passionate interest in a local worthy who became a gay Jacobite art-dealer in eighteenth-century Rome, and he had some interesting bits of information about how stuff had moved from one big house to another in the area, which is the sort of thing an antique dealer gets to know about. All of which goes to show that you never know what will happen when you get talking to people.