Existentialism for Labradors

The Professor has become keenly interested in the general well being of the dog Slobber. For those to whom his name is unfamiliar, he is (probably) the hero of a strip called ‘Tottering by Gently’, in Country Life. The garage began stocking this periodical, and it has gradually morphed into a must-see, essentially because of the cartoon. Slobber’s life is not, in general, very problematic, but this week, he was to be found on his cosy beanbag in front of the Aga with his brow wrinkled in unaccustomed thought, pondering the question; ‘who is a good dog then?’ – as well one might, were one a dog. Our own Miss Dog, of course, is a stranger to speculation of this kind. Born and bred in Aberdeenshire, she is met not with ‘who’s a good dog, then?’ but with, ‘I see you’ (which, to all but the most advanced thinkers, offers few challenges), and ‘what are you saying?’, to which the answer is basically, ‘woof’. Neither we, nor our visitors, throw her existential Yorkers of this kind. And thus, when you pat her handsome head, it remains reassuringly hollow.  She is exceptionally pleased with things this week, in fact. For one thing, the sun has come out, so she can bask on the gravel outside my study. For another, her pet sea slug (a stripey holothurian,  surreal triumph of the dog-toy-maker’s art) has mysteriously become plump and regained its squeak – i.e., she has taken it to bits so often, it has been confiscated and replaced – and, since from time to time the holothurian has to be disappeared in order to be sewn up again, I have also bought her a second toy so there should always be one in play at a given moment. It is a vulture, and is called Gloria. I wonder about people who design dog toys, I really do.